the hal

COLDPLAY: proof of plagiarism

2008-07-22T12:31:47Z

why is this ok? no really, i'm not actually joking here, what fucking retarded musical society do live in that makes this sort of thing ok?

go on, someone defend this to me. i will literally take a spade to your lower jaw. i hope they get sued and, for "the good of the country's health" (in political terms) are stopped.

H

hard drive help

2008-07-20T01:54:54Z

our PC is really packing up, something's definitely up with it.

i think it's time to reinstall windows. does anyone have a spare hard drive that can hold 164GB temporarily?

H

oh... fucking... dear...

2008-07-17T17:06:59Z

i don't actually remember this happening.

MUSIC NEWS, FESTIVALS & DATES FOR THE DIARY

2008-07-11T17:05:52Z

HAL TO PRESENT LEWISHAM 'PEOPLE'S DAY' ROCK STAGE

strange as it may seem to some, i have been known to venture south on occasion. no, not just a cheap shot at a reference to oral sex, it's meant geographically (although i am a bit partial to…)

this saturday sees an expected 30,000 person turnout to what has become lewisham's flagship yearly cultural expo - the people's day. it's set to be a stonker this time round and those nifty (if a little daring) buggers at the dirty south have got me presenting the rock stage for them from midday 'til 6pm.

further details can be found at www.lewisham.gov.uk/newsandevents/events/peoplesday but given it's a free entry event and a chance not only to get your kids painted like animals but also a chance to see a bunch of hard rocking animals act like painted kids plus the a unique opportunity to see me make a complete tit out of myself amongst some of south london's most promising alternative talent. get in.

ROTER SIGNATURE GUITAR NEARS COMPLETION

with initial designs having begun early this year, many months of finite amendments, alterations & aberrations have finally resulted in the hal sinden signature 7 string from roter custom guitars. it's been a while in the making, but it's meant that the end result is one that'll raise a good number of eyebrows. made from wenge, mahogany & maple, it's complete with hardware from my endorsements with kahler tremolo systems, bareknuckle pickups & sperzel tuners. more details will follow when it arrives in this here case:

www.roterguitars.com

but for a sneak preview and chance to see it in action, make sure you get come and see it being played at…

SLAUGHTERDAY FESTIVAL - HAL TO GUEST AS GUITARIST FOR DÄM

rumours have been flying like helium filled seagulls in a strong wind, and now may be a good time to set them straight; i've been working with nathanael from london-based extreme metallers däm (century media records).

www.myspace.com/spiritualvoid

having shared a stage with nathanael whilst i was guesting on guitar for industrial legends leech woman last december during their last UK tour, it became clear to the two of us that we'd have to try and outdo one another in the 'nice shirt' stakes - and what better place to do so but at one of his own band's gigs? whilst current däm live guitarist dan 'the rope' is on tour with his fellow metal nutcases ted maul, i've been scraping my fingers to the knuckle to the dulcet tones of london's finest to make sure the headline slot goes as swimmingly as it can.

more details here:

www.myspace.com/slaughterhousepromotionuk

my 'celebrity lookalikes'

2008-07-08T23:21:28Z

hadn't ever done this. unless i crucially missed an obvious option where you can select the gender of the results, i think this explains a lot... (i have a beard though, for christ's sake!)

VIDS: "charlie bit me"

2008-07-03T22:11:37Z

truly, i praise the minds that came up with this redux:

ORIGINAL:

THE 'DIRTY' VERSION:

genius

H

amazing DnB

2008-06-30T01:24:34Z

lost it with pendulum? i know i have.

just discovered these kiwis...

http://www.myspace.com/stateofmindnz

...christ almighty...

H

eh?

2008-06-26T15:14:18Z

there is something gloriously, gloriously wrong with the fact that, in googling “perineum” to check its spelling, the 3rd image result at the top of the page appears to be a man using a staple gun whilst lifting up what would appear to be a shaved bull’s tail.

if i wasn’t at work, i’d have clicked on it just to know… why.

H

john leslie, case closed

2008-06-26T14:16:55Z

found this in camden sainsburys.

the guy needs to fire his publicist.

H

red dogs 'working late'

2008-06-24T12:40:24Z

were they a one hit wonder sort of band?

why can't i find anything on them or the song?

H

orange customer services

2008-06-19T13:11:51Z

the automated voice that gives you the options.

why the HELL have they changed it to this faux 'ladette' dropped Ts bint? what was wrong with the standard, RP voice? surely, SURELY there can't have been complaints about the previous one? if so - on what grounds?

the worst thing is, the person doing the voice over sounds so uncomfortable with it, it's a mockery. she's effectively standard / london throughout most of it but then lapses into this dreadful mockney shoreditch 'big brother' presenter mannerism.

"if you'd like to pay by credi' or debi' card... press 1 now, then MOINS A PINE O FAKKIN WOIF BEE-AAHH, oh CHOON mayyyyt, SAFE dahling"

i don't actually know anyone who speaks with that mixture. this is not standard. this is not the norm.

fuckheads.

H

right then...

2008-06-18T14:01:54Z

who's good with wines?

H

hear new INTERLOCK tracks on total rock radio tonight!

2008-06-17T12:07:05Z

log on to maz star’s post-download show at www.totalrockradio.com tonight from 8pm (GMT) onwards to hear full length versions of ‘screaming underwater’ and ‘cataclysm’ from the forthcoming album ‘parasite’. and cider.

H

whitby cottages / apartments

2008-06-16T12:09:18Z

christ almighty, they really do get snapped up quick, don't they?

october is becoming a serious consideration, but at this rate i'm realising how tricky it may be for me, beth, missy & flow to find somewhere. all we need is 2 double beds.

H

TOBY

2008-06-13T13:18:46Z

how difficult would it be to file goat bone down to some tiny cylinders? like 2mm wide by maybe 1cm long?

9 of them needing to be identical.

H

northen ireland: politician calls for homosexuals to seek psyc help

2008-06-13T10:18:52Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7439661.stm

you total, total moron.

H

captain amesia strikes again

2008-06-13T10:10:53Z

westons organic premium cider: 8.3% vol. of success

- great in a bag (home draft: win!)

- fantastic for late night band rehearsals at home

- even better for making sure you can’t even remember the last 2 years of your life!

i’m winning, me.

H

yeah. YEAH.

2008-06-11T10:49:09Z

CHAOS PANDA AND THE ENORMO-DOME!!!

that's fear you're feeling, bitch. he can whisk faster than you, he can eat leaves quicker AND HE CAN LOOK RELAXED AT OVER 5,000 SECONDS PER MINUTE.

don't mess

H

x-rays

2008-06-10T11:25:49Z

how tricky is it to get a an x-ray of your head if you’ve got absolutely naff-all wrong with it? no medical purpose whatsoever.

or, rather, does anyone know any radiologists who can pull a crafty one?

H

INTERLOCK: june 2008 news update

2008-06-04T13:44:17Z

TOUR SHIRTS - EXCLUSIVE DOWNLOAD / PODCAST / ENDORSEMENTS UPDATE / WEDDING

TOUR SHIRTS - EXCLUSIVE DOWNLOAD OFFER!</u>

russian dolls, easter eggs, pregnant zombies - everyone loves a hidden surprise, and so we shall provide. due to the time we have left leading up to the US dates, we can only offer the trans-atlantic tour 2007 shirt for a limited time, but with them now comes a mysterious gift...

no, sadly it's not a filthy great genie wearing a ninja outfit, it's a printed token containing links & details for exclusive downloads of the following material from interlock:

- 'rest' (previously unreleased track)

- 'coalesce' (previously unreleased track, as featured in the UK feature film 'vampire diary')

- 'parasite' demo samples (including tracks not yet released to the public)

- a selection of assorted music & video media, personalised goodies plus an exclusive preview of the new album recording sessions

you'll only be able to gain access to these files armed with the individual item's serial number, so order your shirt via paypal today on our myspace page.

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PODCAST

for those who missed the romping cider-fuelled inforama that was the recent total rock radio interview with maz star, here's your chance to catch up on some more egomania, compulsive buffoonery & tech-talk concerning the imminent release of the next album, 'parasite'.

here in part 1 of a 2 episode blogathon brought to you by eulogy media, we touch on solos, new guitar sounds, alleged absences and the largest custom drumkit that mapex UK have ever made, all shot at berry street studio where the album is currently being recorded. subscribe to the interlock youtube channel and be one of the first to see part 2, not to mention a bevy of other video-based nuggets of marvelosity.

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ENDORSEMENTS UPDATE

alongside the appearance of our very own bass-mistress syan on the current warwick players poster (not to mention being the only woman on there!) as seen here, we're also rather excited about a certain imminent arrival as mentioned above...

the delivery of joe's new custom kit from mapex, otherwise referred to as the 'arrival of the leviathan', will be documented in full and soon become viewable by all. those in-the-know have forecast that the event will be similar to a cruise ship landing on a garden shed. just a lot louder. we will also now be keeping with this newly established tradition of naming various occurrences in the style of death metal album titles, just as soon as we're done 'unleashing our molten fury upon the faces of mourning angels' after breakfast.

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WEDDING

imperial war marches? explosions? it could only be an interlock wedding. we'd like to extend our sincere congratulations to alan & jennifer ann 'oh didn't alan tell you there was a drinks fridge in the garage?' luckett who tied the knot recently.

pictures: the happy couple, the lucketts lead the first mosh, the metal contingent of the wedding

the peculiarly short-haired alan of LCM events has been interlock's tour manager & live sound engineer now since early 2007, pulling the band into gear and coordinating live shows in a fashion that has caused shock, awe & blunt force trauma (and that's just the band members). kudos goes to the man capable not only of organising pyros at his own 'big day' but also for issuing laminates to all involved, including the luckett lady.

as overjoyed as we are to see our alan take his vows, we must fear for jenn in some respects and advise she keeps a tight reign, since past exploits have gone far to prove that he has a taste for young, long-haired chaps in metal bands as proven by mini-hal & maxi-joe here.

sudden urge for a good kilt

2008-06-03T11:17:00Z

this in black leatheretter would be lovely.

no? yes?

H

MORBID DELLLIIIIII

2008-06-03T10:37:38Z

so i've just been offered these sweets from...

MORBID DELLIIIIIIIIII

where they most likely sell DEAD MEEAAAAAT

fear that gothic font.

officially the best named sweets. ever. fact.

H

this weekend

2008-06-02T13:09:16Z

we bought 2 mirrors.

as completely unbelievable as this may sound, our household only has 2 very small windows on the doors of the bathroom cabinet, and a collection of tiny handheld makeup mirrors owned by various people.

stunning, i know. however have i survived?

H

VID: evil dead hal

2008-06-01T14:20:12Z

no, no wait i've got it

2008-05-31T13:41:50Z

power metal.

the result of a kid's TV action cartoon theme tune and the worst kind of toiletries commercial.

not even volume can improve it.

H